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Dear J.T. & Dale: I read with great interest your column regarding harassment on the job. I think you should also write about workplace bullying. Research indicates that 37 percent of U.S. workers are bullied. I was the target of bullying, and made the painful decision to leave a job that was my passion. Although I reported the problem, my employer never took me seriously. How can the "target" convince the employer that this is a serious situation? — Cindy

DALE: One of my favorite workplace principles is relevant here: "With a good boss there are no bad jobs; with a bad boss there are no good jobs." Wise employees seek out great bosses, ones who will help them learn, evolve and prosper.

J.T.: I trust you're going to get around to the issue of bullying.

DALE: Here's the point: Bullying is awful, but it's just another form of incompetence. The wise employee will make a graceful arabesque away from a bully, and also away from the nice-guy, do-nothing bureaucrat or the sweet, mothering nitwit. It's a shame that not all bosses are great bosses, but only 10 percent can be in the top 10 percent, no matter what policies are or are not written.

J.T.: I recently heard of one person who experienced bullying and decided to seek out a new job. When she went to her exit interview with HR, she confided that the main reason for her departure was a bully. She also mentioned that should he ever leave the company, she would love to come back. Here's the good news: It turns out she wasn't the first person who chose to leave because of the same manager. The company was tired of the turnover and ended up firing the bully and asking the woman to stay. I know this isn't the norm, but at least it's good to hear of one success. Perhaps our readers can share their stories by posting their thoughts at www.jtanddale.com.

DALE: The first place to look for a great boss is in the company you're working for. If you look around, and all you find is a culture of negativity, then you know you have to look elsewhere. Many people resist making a so-called lateral move to a job with a similar title and pay, but when you move to high-quality management, you're trading up to a better future.

Dear J.T. & Dale: A good friend of mine is struggling with how to approach re-entering the work force. She left work to care for her husband, who had cancer and eventually died. One of her friends has suggested that she include the reason for her absence in her cover letter. I disagree, and believe she should wait to bring it up in an interview, although she has some concerns about becoming emotional during such an explanation. What are your thoughts? — Bill

J.T.: To start, I would list on her resume a "Leave of Absence" with a single bullet point stating that she cared for her sick husband, who has since passed. Second, it would be OK to include it in the cover letter if she were able to put a positive spin on it.

DALE: "Positive spin"?

J.T.: Not about her husband dying, of course, but about her return to the work force, explaining that she is looking forward to working as a way to start a new, happier chapter in her life.

DALE: I can see, Bill, why you advised your friend to wait for the interview. The mention of a dark topic risks having the hiring manager simply look away and set the application aside. In this case, however, I'm coming down on the side of J.T.'s conclusion. The fact that your friend left work to care for her husband demonstrates her character, and reassures the hiring manager that the absence was not the result of something that may recur. Further, the best kind of manager will react sympathetically. And, if your friend has explained the absence in the cover letter and resume, it might give her confidence about the interview to follow, knowing she's meeting with someone who knows and understands.

Jeanine "J.T." Tanner O'Donnell is a professional development specialist and founder of the consulting firm jtodonnell.com. Dale Dauten's latest book is (Great) Employees Only: How Gifted Bosses Hire and De-Hire Their Way to Success.